A Lilac post from the Farmboy

Hi!  Farm boy writting today.  The snow is on the ground here, but not much of it.  I have had about eight months to think about this post and am just getting around to writing it.

A couple of years ago we built a new barn.  Primary purpose???  Storage-- well actually, LITTER storage.  Does that sound cleaner than "manure" storage?

This allows us to keep nearly a year's worth of litter until we can spread it in the spring.  Which is really nice --- unless it IS spring.  Then there are many, Many, MANY Semi truck loads to haul and spread.

Around May 10th, we were in a hurry to finish cleaning out the barn.  I was on my third load of the day hauling to our farthest field away.  I was hot.  I reached for the air conditioning to turn it on.  A couple minutes later I realized the air coming out was hot!  Noooo!!!

I'm hot, sweatty, smell like the wrong end of  an animal, and can't get some nice cool air?  This is going to be a long day. 

Maybe it will cool off the cab a little if I leave it on.

NO.

The next time I pulled out of the farm I decided to use the more natural approach to cooling off.

ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW!

I had not gone 100 yards when the most amazing smell filled the cab.  The lilacs were in bloom!!!  One of God's most fragrant, sweet smelling plants.  A few minutes later I smelled another group of them.  What a beautiful relief from the foul smell I had been experiencing.

Within a couple of miles there was a man cutting grass with his mower.  In drifted the scent of fresh cut grass.  Then came another batch of lilacs.  How refreshing.

In those brief moments my day had been changed from slightly-annoyed and forgettable to one of my favorite days to think back on.

Many times I am the one whose attitude is poor.  My critical spirit leaves an odor much worse than turkey poop.

God, make me a pleasant person to be around.  I want to brighten peoples day like the fragrance of lilacs in the early part of May.  Help me leave smiles in my wake.

"For we are a fragance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among thoe who are perishing." 2 Cor. 2:15

In need of grace

There are moments as a mom that you just wish you could use white out tape on.  This picture is January evidence of a September "Mom-Fail" day.

This is our 2011 first day of school picture. Three of my ducks all lined up.  Back packs on, dressed as best as I could coach 'em, and all ready to head out.  Third Grade. First Grade. Preschool.  In that order. And like any mom planning their senior open houses as we tie their shoes, I *NEEDED* a picture of this day.  With signs.  And smiles.  Looking at the camera.

SMILE.  Come on guys. Now, smile. 

(Beginning to growl now)
S-M-ILE.

This is what I have representing our first day of school this year.  It will likely be in all three of their picture books. Nice, eh?

Lesson 100,000,007 of being a mom to an introvert.  Scratch that.  Lesson 100,000,007 of being a mom to anyone. You can't force the smile.  Quickly followed by: Give them grace.

What I overlooked as her mom on the first day of school was that she was terrified. confused. excited. and hating every second of having this moment captured on film. I wish, oh how I wish, that I had given her grace on this day.  I would love to roll back the clock take the other two's pictures and save the all together picture for a happy day when the transition wasn't as overwhelming and the routine had buffed the edges. 

Lesson #-----Nevermind.

What I'm dying to say is......
..........
..........
I fail at this mom thing all the time.  I am wildly in need of God's grace to get through these kinds of moments and all those in between.  Because I want to love them like Jesus.  I want to carry them to Him.  And I want them to know that they know that they know, that Mama loves them-Jesus loves them-when they just can't smile.  When their worlds are splitting at the seams and they feel anxiety till they are sick.  Right now, I can be those arms to wrap them up and love them like Jesus.  Whisper his name, his precious, life giving name over them.

Oh' Lord, make me a woman of wild grace. Help me as I lay my expectations to the side to watch for places I can portray your extravagant love to those around me.  Lord, harken my heart to the needs of those precious gems in my care.

There is a beautiful path that leads from one small town to the next, and occasionally, when I've had one of *those* days, I take the kids to walk.  Sometimes we load up their bikes and sometimes we just walk nice and slow.  There are so many great places to get on the path, near the grocery store by the picnic tables, but if you take that section you have to cross a big road, twice.  And with four.  Well, you know.  There is another spot to get on, just down from the old bakery that is good for parking, but you have to walk along a semi busy road for a block or two to get on.  Recently, we've started parking at the edge of an asparagus field, laid to rest till next spring, and we unload and begin our journey where fewer cars venture and the peace seems immediate.

The moment my feet hit the trail the tight winding of my heart begins to release.  Gabriella begins spotting everything from fuzzy caterpillars to sidewalk snails.  She has an eye for the handiwork of God.  Deeply fascinated with the things He has created and instinctively filled with awe. Sometimes it take me a good fifteen minutes of observing and following before the concerns of this day fall and give way to this shared delight.

A friend of mine has told me many times that "delight covers a multitude of sins in parenting."  Surely that is the truth, and the reminder seems to redirect my time with these happy, curious, little people.  However this time, here on this section of trail, delight uncovers my heart. It is here in the midst of falling leaves, climbing trees, and occasional squirrels that I begin to finally reengage.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Why is it so hard to see the gifts God has given from the inside of my home? Why don't I come here sooner if I know He is here waiting to win back my heart from the cares of the day?

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." 

I think sometimes I feel guilty if I admit that it would require a change of environment to generate a change in my demeanor and spirit.  Today, however, I recognize that it isn't time for THAT battle.  It is simply time to just embrace that there is a quick fix for Mama's attitude problem, and rather than beat my head and grumble some more, I need to quick fix my eyes on the Lord.  I heard once that a famous pastor's wife used to flip her apron over her head to pray and made a tiny sanctuary of peace, even if for a minute. Brilliant woman hiding from the piles of unfolded laundry.

"Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise."  


If we ever encounter each other out on the trail, and you spy me walking slow and drinking in the Lord's goodness and savoring His gifts just smile and understand I am a work in progress.

Psalm 51:10, 12, 15.

First Inclination

I laugh inappropriately.  I'm nearly famous for it.

There.

It's out in the open and we can just MOVE ON.

Like the time during my step-Grandpa's funeral when the wind rattled the creepy double doors in the funeral home right before the funeral began, and I nearly keeled over trying to stuff the hysteria. Laughed so hard my sisters were giggling and elbowing beside me. Totally inappropriate.

There was the time when I took my girlfriend, Stacy, to the hospital for dehydration (read puking her guts out) while her hubby the pastor went to youth group and I laughed like a hyena while she got shots in her rear. All the nurse had to do was say, "Pull down your pants and bend over." and I was GONE. I'm laughing now and that was completely UNFUNNY.

Once, a visiting musician came to our church and was greatly built up by the pastor.  He came up to minister to us, thanked us, and pulled out a recorder and played a tune. The recorder?!  About a minute in and I was sliding down and off the seat to stop the entire congregation from watching my body wracking from hysteria.  I have NEVER laughed at someone like that before and to this day I remember the agony of trying to stifle the bubble up.

And finally, there was the time I was sitting with friends in a restaurant talking about a terrible natural disaster and comparing stories we'd seen or read on the news, and Ryan  relayed the devastation of a teenager being sucked out of a sunroof during a tornado.  I think he was even buckled up.  For whatever reason, it just struck wrong, and I laughed at the irony of it all.

Why in the world am I talking about this terrible flaw?

Because I learned something recently that I think has the power to change me.

This may be a long quote but hang in there with it and make it to the end.  It will be worth it.

While I was teaching the video sessions for 'Living Beyond Yourself', God led me to discover the Greek word 'horme' as I researched various passions and their power to motivate.  According to New Testament Lexical Aids, "Home is an impulse or urge, a strong and forceful movement toward something, and connotes the ideas of thrusting, propulsion and suddenness.  It is not unlike a sudden thought, whim, or dictating inclination."  After praying that God would invade every part of my thought life, I added this new dimension to my prayers;  "God, fill me so completely with your Holy Spirit that even my reactions and sudden impulses are godly." ....Under stress and crisis, our first reactions at various points may be fleshly and selfish.  What if we began to attentively and repeatedly pray for the Holy Spirit to invade and renew us so richly and deeply that even our impulses were godly?  That even our "default" response was sanctified.

                                             -Beth Moore  "The Patriarchs", p. 62-63.

I actually gave you one of my more forgivable natural inclinations, but what about my inclination to flashes of anger, fits of selfishness, and a razor sharp tongue.  I have begun praying that God would change even my impulses, that He would have his way in every recess of me.  Join me?

"Search me, God, and know my heart;test me and know my anxious thoughts/ See if there is any offensive way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting."            Psalm 139:23-24

I'll try to finish the Revival notes soon.  Have an acronym I can't wait to share! 

Not to Us

Revival is a renewed interest after a period of indifference or decline.The Bible teaches clearly and repeatedly that God wants to revive our relationship with Him.He wants to wake us up, refresh our faith-to fire us up again....Revival is getting back on the path, getting the goal in view again, and pursuing with new passion the One who can make your life more than you ever dreamed.  Revival is God, gladly at the center of my life, experienced and enjoyed.  I see God working.He's working in my life and I'm loving it more and more.  That's revival.

                                                -James MacDonald  "Downpour"




We can't mince words today.  Not about this point.  The goal of revival will ALWAYS be Him!
His coming.  HIS working.  His leading.  HIS power.
Revival will not be about me.  It will not be about what I did or what "we" did.  The goal will be His glory.  His honor.
Less of me.  My hopes, goals and vision will become second or even fiftieth to His plans and agenda.

Interestingly enough, God is speaking in reverb and just yesterday I received a mailing from Samaritan's Purse with an article entitled, "A Needed Revival"  by Hyman Appelman. His thoughts are chilling and have me checking my motives and asking for purification.

"....the chief purpose---is to exalt the Lord Jesus Christ.  I am very much afraid that one, if not the chief, reason why God is not blessing our efforts is that we are selfish, that we have no thought for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. That is why many of us are not doing anything.  Many of us are not in love with Jesus.  We have no compassion for the lost.  We work for each other, for our churches, for our pastors, but the least little thing throws us off balance.  Only by enthroning Christ can we claim the promises of God, the fullness of His Holy Spirit, the answers of our prayers."

The revival that I am begging for and in desperate need of, perhaps you are as well, would bring the Holy Spirit front and center in my life.  And honestly, more of the Spirit in me would not make me a freakish streetwalker wearing a sandwich board sign screaming "Repent!"  into a megaphone.

More of the Spirit in me could only bring sweetness, greater love, more compassion, and a closer walk with our Loving Father.

After all-
"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23.


This post is the 4th in a series on Revival Fire- Asking God for a Faith that Burns.  I spent this summer camped out with the Lord on the idea of Revival and the Spirit just won't let me go.  I'm asking the Lord for personal and corporate REVIVAL.  I pray you will be encouraged to cry out for the same.

A working definition

                                                                                                 photo credit

Revival?  Like a tent meeting?

The image that comes to most American's minds when we discuss revival has some warped picture of large scale, deeply suth-un (liberally apply accent), active shouting, white tent meetings that lasted about a week.

I don't want to knock the efforts of those involved in the tent meetings, but that is not the kind of revival I am talking about.  This is not a week of meetings.

Another image that might spring to mind is one of widespread weeping, jubilation, perhaps riotous laughter, and other emotionally extravagent behavior.  Revival is not an emotional takeover, it is, at its core, a TOTAL TAKEOVER.

Perhaps to begin, as one of my sweetest mentors does, with a definition.  A working definition, if you will.

Revival is a satisfied longing for God's presence and power, evidenced by a NEW working of the Spirit.

This begs the question, "How would your life be different if you were CONVINCED of God's presence and power?"

And

"What fresh work might He do?"
Thoughts?

Smart Phone...a VERY Smart Phone

There it hung in the cross hairs of the Lord's sovereignty.

My desperate need for a fresh word from Him, a very real desire for His leading and direction, and a conspicuously quiet season with the Lord. I was feeling a kind of quiet anticipation that makes me lean forward in expectation.  I had learned experiential after a difficult season last year the Lord enjoys us enjoying Him and that although painful, there is hope of joy at the end dark tunnels. 

I heard (felt) the quietest of whispers.

Revive us, Lord, according to your word. 

Revive us, Lord?  Sounds like a passage I had read before, but address- unknown.  

So I did what any diligent Bible Student would do.(note the sarcastic tone)  I asked my smart phone.  "Revive us according to your word"- GO.  And within seconds I was staring at a variation of a verse I'd read many times.

Psalm 119:25, "My soul cleaves to the dust; Revive me according to your word." (NASB)

Revive.  Revive.  Revive.  

Oh' Lord, that is what I desperately desire, to be set aflame by your promises, according to the promises you have made, and not just for me, but for my Farmboy, my children, our church, our nation.  Oh' Lord, please.

Right below the Scripture reference on the Google page was a link.  

When do we need revival?

Friends, follow the link.   Follow the link.  Follow the link.

I pray the Spirit moves as you determine if your soul has cleaved to the dust as mine had?  Do you need revival as I do?