A Lilac post from the Farmboy

Hi!  Farm boy writting today.  The snow is on the ground here, but not much of it.  I have had about eight months to think about this post and am just getting around to writing it.

A couple of years ago we built a new barn.  Primary purpose???  Storage-- well actually, LITTER storage.  Does that sound cleaner than "manure" storage?

This allows us to keep nearly a year's worth of litter until we can spread it in the spring.  Which is really nice --- unless it IS spring.  Then there are many, Many, MANY Semi truck loads to haul and spread.

Around May 10th, we were in a hurry to finish cleaning out the barn.  I was on my third load of the day hauling to our farthest field away.  I was hot.  I reached for the air conditioning to turn it on.  A couple minutes later I realized the air coming out was hot!  Noooo!!!

I'm hot, sweatty, smell like the wrong end of  an animal, and can't get some nice cool air?  This is going to be a long day. 

Maybe it will cool off the cab a little if I leave it on.

NO.

The next time I pulled out of the farm I decided to use the more natural approach to cooling off.

ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW!

I had not gone 100 yards when the most amazing smell filled the cab.  The lilacs were in bloom!!!  One of God's most fragrant, sweet smelling plants.  A few minutes later I smelled another group of them.  What a beautiful relief from the foul smell I had been experiencing.

Within a couple of miles there was a man cutting grass with his mower.  In drifted the scent of fresh cut grass.  Then came another batch of lilacs.  How refreshing.

In those brief moments my day had been changed from slightly-annoyed and forgettable to one of my favorite days to think back on.

Many times I am the one whose attitude is poor.  My critical spirit leaves an odor much worse than turkey poop.

God, make me a pleasant person to be around.  I want to brighten peoples day like the fragrance of lilacs in the early part of May.  Help me leave smiles in my wake.

"For we are a fragance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among thoe who are perishing." 2 Cor. 2:15

In need of grace

There are moments as a mom that you just wish you could use white out tape on.  This picture is January evidence of a September "Mom-Fail" day.

This is our 2011 first day of school picture. Three of my ducks all lined up.  Back packs on, dressed as best as I could coach 'em, and all ready to head out.  Third Grade. First Grade. Preschool.  In that order. And like any mom planning their senior open houses as we tie their shoes, I *NEEDED* a picture of this day.  With signs.  And smiles.  Looking at the camera.

SMILE.  Come on guys. Now, smile. 

(Beginning to growl now)
S-M-ILE.

This is what I have representing our first day of school this year.  It will likely be in all three of their picture books. Nice, eh?

Lesson 100,000,007 of being a mom to an introvert.  Scratch that.  Lesson 100,000,007 of being a mom to anyone. You can't force the smile.  Quickly followed by: Give them grace.

What I overlooked as her mom on the first day of school was that she was terrified. confused. excited. and hating every second of having this moment captured on film. I wish, oh how I wish, that I had given her grace on this day.  I would love to roll back the clock take the other two's pictures and save the all together picture for a happy day when the transition wasn't as overwhelming and the routine had buffed the edges. 

Lesson #-----Nevermind.

What I'm dying to say is......
..........
..........
I fail at this mom thing all the time.  I am wildly in need of God's grace to get through these kinds of moments and all those in between.  Because I want to love them like Jesus.  I want to carry them to Him.  And I want them to know that they know that they know, that Mama loves them-Jesus loves them-when they just can't smile.  When their worlds are splitting at the seams and they feel anxiety till they are sick.  Right now, I can be those arms to wrap them up and love them like Jesus.  Whisper his name, his precious, life giving name over them.

Oh' Lord, make me a woman of wild grace. Help me as I lay my expectations to the side to watch for places I can portray your extravagant love to those around me.  Lord, harken my heart to the needs of those precious gems in my care.